feeling overTake Me

 

i would be SO  great for Him!!!
i have so much Love to give.
only wish he would be open to Receiving it..

conversations come easy between the two of us
my eyes never wander
never will..my heart
will stay focused on him forever and Ever…swear!
there is no need to search for better
if he loves me back

no man exists in my world but my love
he is my center. he is here. There.
in all the spaces in between.
Devotion is my middle name
when he loves me back

he makes me smile and the only mission i have:
create an environment where he feels as happy as i am
when he is near…feel myself falling
but not as scary as first thought
because he might love me back

so i sit.
do not speak.
just wait.
in case he loves me back

it’s not what he can give
that i want but what i will give
            for him to Receive
     i want to be his shoulder to cry/lean
on.                my legs, a place for his head
    to rest
when he does not feel well
     that’s when i make a bath for him
           then bathe together in the warmth
                       our bodies
    fit like puzzle pieces
      when we fall asleep
    our breath,  once separate, now inhale as one
exhaling  together         feel the LOVE
the peace comes easy   -                 s  e    &     fa    
                                                    i                           l       
                              chests    R                                      l
     harmoniously    -      i want to do all
            this for him.   and him alone
no one else do i have this need to be there for in this way because -
how could he not love me back?

so here i wait for him (and him alone)
-  if he does not come
then i will just stay up for a little longer
     just in case he remembers 
                he loves me back <3

quite possibly…maybe…

i continue to dream you into life.
wrong or right
possible or impossible. i do not care!
given to BREAK
i love the thought of you
your being. your soul. your aura.
you are inviting. and oh so warm =)
i love being near you. you are home. you are comfort
you come so naturally

 

but i cannot yell this
to the universe
or to you because
i am afraid.
{of losing you.of losing the butterflies.of being rejected}
so i create
stories from the inflections
in your tone. from the intent
behind the glances.

when you are far, it goes a little
different -
my soul
is in turmoil
wanting to be close
again, waiting for a response
right away – my soul hurts
until i hear back. but
in your presence i want time to stop. so it can be forever
j u s t        l  i  k  e           t      h     i    s   <2

*you’re magic* he said

i need calm right now
i need water
houseboats
flavia tea and a cookie
i need birds around
i need out of this office…NOW!
i need outside
fresh air
sun sets…
right there!
past the horizon…

when you’re near
everything stops…slows to a crawl
and i feel safe
and comfortable
and warm
and FULL
and unwanting
and perfectly blissful…

i want it back
RIGHT
NOW
please hurry…so time can cease
once again…there is PEACE <3

feel as long as it’s real

this overwhelming sense of being
overcomes from deep within
yet i have you to thank
you take me to places
i have never imagined could be real
but i feel this feeling
and it’s consuming
and unbelievably Zen
just memories
are all i need
and the thought of when it will be you and me
all over again <3

you have awakend something inside
and i have finally come to Life
after the aftermath
you have shown me a path
a secret sneak peak
at where this all might lead

just finding moments of Right Now

 
a rainbow…or the horizon…
there is no end
to it’s life in memory
when lips fit Perfectly.
when fingertips
feel so sensitive,
all you touch: tingles
and that just lingers
in my thoughts. i can always look back
it is never a thing of the past
a moment everlasting when Your
SOUL
entered into mine
and i could only respond with a Smile
and butterflies -
like a feather, i take flight -
thoughts clear out
- K e e p    T a s t i n g  y o u r     M  o  u  t  h
cannot imagine the second i will be WithOut.

quietly…at a stand still..

voice sends vibrations through my nerves
sending shivers down my spine
with just an inflection
i get off
on the rawness
of you. naked in your lyrics -
baring your soul
coming into mine…
with every syllable i am stuck
wanting the next part to come
this sensation is spiritual
in every sense of the feeling.
Climaxing
at your tone, never coming down
from this HIGH.
i can see your face and how you mouth
each
and 
every
b r e a t h
- close your eyes and become One
with the rest
when we share this blink of bliss <3
pure nirvana
is So ~ ZEN ~

*sigh*

always
amazing
words simply spoken
but how you catch that moment
is perfect. thoughts that provoke
the mind.
take my breath away each time.
favorite
lyrics
that never get old. touch deep
inside my soul. peace
is all i can feel.
smile won’t disappear
eyes open
plans open
no more hesitating
time to stop worrying and live day
by day

your appreciation for women
so real. raw. your inflection
says it all.
sing sweetly, softly and i fall <3
~ heart to ground. i am in love ~

Yes

cannot sleep
my mind is not at peace
thoughts run through
leaving footprints – who
keeps coming in?
uninvited. time is passing
staring off into the distance
wishing i was there
i don’t know exactly where
just far from here
problems won’t disappear
- but maybe i can find what i need
englightenment with tranquility
for all eternity
to just feel
PEACE
meditating into immortality

8.15.08

i sit alone in the dark. typing on the computer. i can’t go to sleep, insomnia has kicked in and only time can help me now.
but as i sit and type, i think of the negative thoughts festering in my mind. opinions about the people i care about the most. punishments i have secretly given them.
i think…why? how can i treat those closest to me like strangers, like i never loved them or respected who they are as human beings? expectations set that no one could live up to. with one wrong move, they move onto my shitlist. and i get angry at them. no longer emotionally invested. i have packed up and run away. trust has been lost and i don’t know if i want to go out looking for it.
i need space. i crave space. i take space.
but space does not solve the problem.
the issue still exists when i return.
so what next?
abandon again? forget forever?
no!
those are patterns i do not want to continue. those are issues i have tried my hardest to work past and i am NOT reverting back! not again. not ever.
cannot preach peace if i do not practice.
cannot advocate love for all if i do not follow.

you get what you give. you receive what you send out,
so time to wipe the slate clean and start over.
maybe even begin where we left off before <3

“white” talk?

in class today, we were discussing politics. and ralph nader. and a comment he made about barack obama. and how he spoke.
ralph nader said that obama spoke “white”. from that, something else arose…
what exactly is “white” talk? do i speak white? but i’m only half…so would i speak half white and half other??? and from that discussion we came up with a conclusion: nader said that because obama doesn’t speak “black”…or maybe we should use the word ghetto. ghetto, not standard American English, slang.
and with nader’s low blow to obama, he actually became a rascist in a sense.
and as i walked home on the streets of oakland listening to a sad song (jason mraz) i started to choke up. the discussion we had 30 minutes ago popped up in my mind. and the song has nothing to do with rascism or stereotypes or anything of that nature. but to see the streets of oakland. a place where many say is “ghetto”. empty streets. broken glass on the sidewalk where it meets the street. and to think of the rascism that is still in the world today. and i knew that it was still going on. but to really feel it right now. through my core. made me sad.
the stereotypes we hold for people. because of their skin color. where they live. how they speak.
to not really know someone and be able to judge them because of some stupid preconceived notion…is just that…STUPID! and unneccesary. and ridiculous.
and right then i made a point to smile at everyone i walked past. to look at them straight in the eye and smile. and not some fake smile. or scared smile. but a genuine one. a smile that someone can feel. they can feel the warmth i feel for them as a human being. the respect i have for them.
i don’t know them. so why start the relationship, even if it lasts for a brief second, on a bad note? first impressions are made in 15 seconds. and if i only get a few seconds in your life, i want to make the best impression i can. a real one. a positive one.
and now i invite all those who are reading to do the same.
just because you hear someone speaking slang, don’t think that they’re a bad person. because…well, JUST because!!!
remember:

smiles are contagious