…in silent reverie..

i ran as fast as i could after class
the wind blowing my hair into a mess
  i  could no longer be apart
feel him, hear him calling my heart:
  “come out and play
no work of any kind tonight..just come rest under my shade” 
           Ran So Fast
i could barely keep balance
    it had been a WHOLE day
and i could no longer be away…

my tree lives in
          my secret garden
   unnoticed by any who try
        to find..although it does not hide
it turned dark tonight…quicker than normal
a shade of rusty crescent moon and purple
filled the horizon
as i lay under my tree’s branches..this feels a little different -
maybe it’s the sky?
      did night
suddenly turn light???
         no! wait! my tree -
  - the leaves -
                             – They Are Fire

oh! wait…look again…
      just the leaves changing
         
                    flooding
   down 
               orange. 
 yellow.
                             red.
all  
         raining
  down
                     covering entirely
         get lost in leaves
now part of me

dear bob,

              maybe i do want a little more
i think i’m lying to both
of us..
i want to express this love
physically…   maybe
            like now…    possibly..
perhaps.. but not right now.. at this
exact moment
but soon…. with a little time is best
i think…
altho a lot has already elapsed… such a tricky
situation…  i’m a little confused with timing
                – (always have been)
what do you feel? or how do you feel about everything?

i want it to be an expression though
not something to take *this* away once you get bored.
not just sex
that once you get
you will go away like the rest
in the past…

no matter what happens next
what path is chosen to go down
         i know
             you will break my heart.
                 and that’s okay <3

*this* is good

out in the open.
all to know is known
at least for my part and the matters of my heart
no longer hiding..
more like smiling
because i have said my Peace <3

i have a crush
and idk if it’s serious
i just
know i love being near you
i can’t stop thinking about you
i continuously write your name in my
mind…scribing
it in pretend brings
a sort
of comfort…
i really really…enjoy =)

..do you know…

clear your head for me please…
all your thoughts and anything
else that is currently consuming
your being…

Now – close yours eyes just for a second…
please…just for this moment

                     inhale
                            e   x    h  a  l    e

okay…one more thing…can i ask…
what did you see? or who did you see?
or were there no images…just a feeling?
quite possibly maybe…were any of those a glimpse of me?

because everytime
            i
close my
eyes,             i
only see you . your beautiful face shining
the way your voice makes me smile
deafening – your warm soul entrancing me to stay just a little while
longer
i cannot let go of you…you are my center
always coming back to you…never
want to Leave…i am lost in you
Passion and Love have consumed
and i do not want to let go…cannot surrender, knew
i was going to lose
me
in this journey…
but you are worth every
bit and more of the possibility.

i love you
real and true
and hope you realize that you feel the same way too
                 soon

feeling overTake Me

 

i would be SO  great for Him!!!
i have so much Love to give.
only wish he would be open to Receiving it..

conversations come easy between the two of us
my eyes never wander
never will..my heart
will stay focused on him forever and Ever…swear!
there is no need to search for better
if he loves me back

no man exists in my world but my love
he is my center. he is here. There.
in all the spaces in between.
Devotion is my middle name
when he loves me back

he makes me smile and the only mission i have:
create an environment where he feels as happy as i am
when he is near…feel myself falling
but not as scary as first thought
because he might love me back

so i sit.
do not speak.
just wait.
in case he loves me back

it’s not what he can give
that i want but what i will give
            for him to Receive
     i want to be his shoulder to cry/lean
on.                my legs, a place for his head
    to rest
when he does not feel well
     that’s when i make a bath for him
           then bathe together in the warmth
                       our bodies
    fit like puzzle pieces
      when we fall asleep
    our breath,  once separate, now inhale as one
exhaling  together         feel the LOVE
the peace comes easy   -                 s  e    &     fa    
                                                    i                           l       
                              chests    R                                      l
     harmoniously    -      i want to do all
            this for him.   and him alone
no one else do i have this need to be there for in this way because -
how could he not love me back?

so here i wait for him (and him alone)
-  if he does not come
then i will just stay up for a little longer
     just in case he remembers 
                he loves me back <3

be the one i need…the one i trust most. don’t stop inspiring me…

makes sense…

through all the years taught:

two different worlds.
but there’s something there
raised differently. seeing things in a different light.
but there’s something undeniable
something.. a chemistry so tangible that the differences disappear.

the two are unalike, but there is a chance meeting
a window of opportunity.
and it doesn’t happen right away.
takes a little more time because the dissimilarity
is too strong
but they do not know how powerful the attraction is
the force cannot be stopped easily.
and it’s not.
eventually love
overcomes all
so it makes sense for me
to feel this
so undeniably
unignorable emotion. you give me butterflies
and peace and excitement
and calm and sadness from not being close
and a smile on my face from every memory or speaking your
name and pain for every second
i don’t let you in.

no matter how different

my heart still chooses you. wants you close.
i am blind to all others. when i love, i am monogamous.
no one else exists
but you. i want to give
only to you – my whole self. every last piece
of me,
i give to you willingly.
even if not reciprocated. i do not care.
i am solely attracted to you and no one can take that away.
only if you express that you no longer want my company, will i refrain
or back down. i will not let go until you
ask me to.

hope you do not grow tired of me
annoyed by my need to be near.
something in your eyes just captivate
when you look, you glance into my soul. and i really, really like it
and i need to be patient
go slow. we have time, right?
or is there a window of opportunity that is slowly
closing
with
ea  ch    b  re   at  h
i stop from confessing
myself ?

..do it tonight…forever

i just need sleep
to bring me peace
i am unable to achieve
in a waking state. i seem
to always live in fantasy and daydream.
i envision
a million times our first kiss
and all that proceed. it
comes second nature
so uncontrollably perfect =)

gotta take the good with the bad…

love me the way you love her
is all i ask for
JUST equal, not more..
look at me the same

i know she’s always been your favorite
and that’s why i grow  jealous so quick

but just once
love me equal

please
otherwise, these
tears
will not leave me
alone.
even being close
tears me apart…
that hug…hurt my heart
because that one ounce
of care…brings me down
wanting more. knowing that day may never come
or as fast and often as i need

so please hear me:
Love Me Equally…
even if pretending.

…don’t bring me down..i beg you…won’t let you..

fully undressed
naked to everyone else -
do i continue to let this
grow within
until i am comfortable in my own skin
~ patience friend ~
but i hate all this confusion
caused by the unknown
and my imagination
- crazy combination -

maybe i should just release
some of this grasp
letting my heart Free
but she does not want that
she just wants to be received
to be heard and seen
noticed for what she wants and has to give
she is not scared
of when she might break
my mind is the one doing that
continuously replaying the scene
slightly different each time…