in a few months…

dreams keep us warm
deliver us from the boredom of reality

yet they trick and we
hold on..but who can really blame?

happy thoughts make us fly
places unimaginable…
without fantasy, we are sunk down to the depths of life’s muck

left alone to come up

                alone.

is that even possible?
may never find out…

sleep comes easy
sleep comes quick
sleep invites me over to lay with him
i cannot help but follow…

need his seduction stories of fantasies fulfilled
in slumber
to finally breath
          into
      life
this
    very
         second.

surrender to serenity

The water calls to me
i hear the beauty in it’s waves.

Language has become my music
but that without sound.

His writing looks like a symphony
to me
“because it is”

then in his eyes
i saw life
Love. my soul
swimming in our eyes’ reflections.
*a twinkle*
my Star!
saying to take notice

warmth overcame me, but not in the form of heat
more in the Sense of Fullness.
no labels required
no expectations to live up to
just that moment
frozen in time
in the mind of my heart stays with me still
because that look. those eyes. his touch.
his grasp
on my Soul
… * sigh * …
i cannot help but fall
       in  
     love
over
      and
          over
              again
   replaying that scene
                  continuously 
just because

starlite. starbrite.

tonite
my star said hello.
a small glow
a halo
of soft light surrounded
as it danced for me.
played with me..trying to hide
in the night sky
randomly disappearing
but just for a moment..then it reappeared
to remind me that it was still here.

my star came out tonite
i know it had to be mine
looking at the others, none popped out like this one
one of the smallest
with the glow making it’s briteness just a little less
but not in my eyes…my heart felt it. and still does

my star calls out and tells me stories
it listens
and is there for me to cry to
It gives me strength
and makes me smile
my star is amazing. and i love it.

>-   <3    =)

*this* is good

out in the open.
all to know is known
at least for my part and the matters of my heart
no longer hiding..
more like smiling
because i have said my Peace <3

i have a crush
and idk if it’s serious
i just
know i love being near you
i can’t stop thinking about you
i continuously write your name in my
mind…scribing
it in pretend brings
a sort
of comfort…
i really really…enjoy =)

<3 listen to your heart <3

first quiet the world inside then out. the busy-ness
of life muffles Heaven within.
desires hide
the Truth that is there the whole time.

she whispers softly, so it is hard to hear
her if you do not quiet your emotions. life is so Simple. but We
are human and need
to complicate it.
Create
problems and questions from nothing.
clear. calm
quiet…now
L  i  s  t   e   n
can you hear her
speak? comes in faint. Time will cure that. Broken
because she cannot be Heard
Asking….
but as long as we do, we will be. Receive
this moment. in the nothingness lives Eternity
clear. calm
Now
receive it fully. see? not so Hard =)

she has been received and will
always as long as we do all
the Beauty in front of us that busy life
tries to blind
us from. now i am Aware. clear
my mind. Calm my Heart. now Receive
and be received <3

no matter how different

my heart still chooses you. wants you close.
i am blind to all others. when i love, i am monogamous.
no one else exists
but you. i want to give
only to you – my whole self. every last piece
of me,
i give to you willingly.
even if not reciprocated. i do not care.
i am solely attracted to you and no one can take that away.
only if you express that you no longer want my company, will i refrain
or back down. i will not let go until you
ask me to.

hope you do not grow tired of me
annoyed by my need to be near.
something in your eyes just captivate
when you look, you glance into my soul. and i really, really like it
and i need to be patient
go slow. we have time, right?
or is there a window of opportunity that is slowly
closing
with
ea  ch    b  re   at  h
i stop from confessing
myself ?

..do it tonight…forever

i just need sleep
to bring me peace
i am unable to achieve
in a waking state. i seem
to always live in fantasy and daydream.
i envision
a million times our first kiss
and all that proceed. it
comes second nature
so uncontrollably perfect =)

elegy

my heart grows heavier  with each breath
maybe mom was right  i do make up stories in my head..
dramas play out and i grow sad
all self-inflicted…no one else to blame
yet how could you not feel the pain?
senses heightened…feel the down..lost myself again

i need my high to get through this
this low makes me want to curl up and sleep infinite
where wanting does not exist
and i do not need or long for or miss
OR rely on another to make me sad or feel peace..because of him

where i do not crave that kiss
continously trying to daydream it into existence
..when will it even..it’s been a while..waiting on that moment..

stop searching for falling stars
or a well to wish upon
rollercoaster riding was never for emotions
to begin with
i opened…i am open..this is starting to hurt
but i do not know how to close it without your words
sometimes thinking and questions
hurt more than the actual rejection…
i guess
up until you’re on the other side
when ”no” feels more like dying
than “what if” wondering

pleasure is on the other side

the sun sets here
while your eyes see one Rising.
the start to yours
ends mine from the one before

i want to be better because of you
i want to feel love again -
Because of YOU
yes.
it hurts, but i know the outcome could
be SO good -
well worth the passing pain inflicted with your absence.

can’t you see?
you are in the future, does my fantasy
exist in reality there?

because when i wake from my dreams
you lay down to sleep
then i get to see
what you have already -

bring back my peace
please
memory is fading fast

his face grows hazy
voice becomes blurry
- However -
his being cannot be erased
because his aura easily outlasts these days
the feeling lasts for eternity
it’s just that my vessel craves tangible things
currently missing…

*you’re magic* he said

i need calm right now
i need water
houseboats
flavia tea and a cookie
i need birds around
i need out of this office…NOW!
i need outside
fresh air
sun sets…
right there!
past the horizon…

when you’re near
everything stops…slows to a crawl
and i feel safe
and comfortable
and warm
and FULL
and unwanting
and perfectly blissful…

i want it back
RIGHT
NOW
please hurry…so time can cease
once again…there is PEACE <3