starlite. starbrite.

tonite
my star said hello.
a small glow
a halo
of soft light surrounded
as it danced for me.
played with me..trying to hide
in the night sky
randomly disappearing
but just for a moment..then it reappeared
to remind me that it was still here.

my star came out tonite
i know it had to be mine
looking at the others, none popped out like this one
one of the smallest
with the glow making it’s briteness just a little less
but not in my eyes…my heart felt it. and still does

my star calls out and tells me stories
it listens
and is there for me to cry to
It gives me strength
and makes me smile
my star is amazing. and i love it.

>-   <3    =)

..do you know…

clear your head for me please…
all your thoughts and anything
else that is currently consuming
your being…

Now – close yours eyes just for a second…
please…just for this moment

                     inhale
                            e   x    h  a  l    e

okay…one more thing…can i ask…
what did you see? or who did you see?
or were there no images…just a feeling?
quite possibly maybe…were any of those a glimpse of me?

because everytime
            i
close my
eyes,             i
only see you . your beautiful face shining
the way your voice makes me smile
deafening – your warm soul entrancing me to stay just a little while
longer
i cannot let go of you…you are my center
always coming back to you…never
want to Leave…i am lost in you
Passion and Love have consumed
and i do not want to let go…cannot surrender, knew
i was going to lose
me
in this journey…
but you are worth every
bit and more of the possibility.

i love you
real and true
and hope you realize that you feel the same way too
                 soon

25 years young <3

another year has passed
while the next has already started…
          -   so what have i learned?
i don’t know if i have…
           And where am i currently?

i am sitting in silence
letting my soul scribe pictures onto paper
words no longer serve me the way
they once did. they currently FAIL!
i am trying to feel and become aware
                             hear(t) <3
make a Life
          not a livinG…
Clear my throat
     my thoughts…..          Now Go
in peace… with it
        because of it            For Always
it is the way i will come in as how i intend to exit
            quietly….    undected

Live in the Love
          consumed by Passion…….Wishing SO HARD….      one day -
                                      in time -   soon…. maybe…possibly??
             Promise… a million times over
with each breath…..          every piece of me    - – -    drop of my soul
                      – until it is gone . . .    .    .     .      . until i am no more
i will continue to feel with         e v  e   r   y                    i  n  c  h 

a million times over
…know a little more each Visit…
until the Time <3

feeling overTake Me

 

i would be SO  great for Him!!!
i have so much Love to give.
only wish he would be open to Receiving it..

conversations come easy between the two of us
my eyes never wander
never will..my heart
will stay focused on him forever and Ever…swear!
there is no need to search for better
if he loves me back

no man exists in my world but my love
he is my center. he is here. There.
in all the spaces in between.
Devotion is my middle name
when he loves me back

he makes me smile and the only mission i have:
create an environment where he feels as happy as i am
when he is near…feel myself falling
but not as scary as first thought
because he might love me back

so i sit.
do not speak.
just wait.
in case he loves me back

it’s not what he can give
that i want but what i will give
            for him to Receive
     i want to be his shoulder to cry/lean
on.                my legs, a place for his head
    to rest
when he does not feel well
     that’s when i make a bath for him
           then bathe together in the warmth
                       our bodies
    fit like puzzle pieces
      when we fall asleep
    our breath,  once separate, now inhale as one
exhaling  together         feel the LOVE
the peace comes easy   -                 s  e    &     fa    
                                                    i                           l       
                              chests    R                                      l
     harmoniously    -      i want to do all
            this for him.   and him alone
no one else do i have this need to be there for in this way because -
how could he not love me back?

so here i wait for him (and him alone)
-  if he does not come
then i will just stay up for a little longer
     just in case he remembers 
                he loves me back <3

no matter how different

my heart still chooses you. wants you close.
i am blind to all others. when i love, i am monogamous.
no one else exists
but you. i want to give
only to you – my whole self. every last piece
of me,
i give to you willingly.
even if not reciprocated. i do not care.
i am solely attracted to you and no one can take that away.
only if you express that you no longer want my company, will i refrain
or back down. i will not let go until you
ask me to.

hope you do not grow tired of me
annoyed by my need to be near.
something in your eyes just captivate
when you look, you glance into my soul. and i really, really like it
and i need to be patient
go slow. we have time, right?
or is there a window of opportunity that is slowly
closing
with
ea  ch    b  re   at  h
i stop from confessing
myself ?

..do it tonight…forever

i just need sleep
to bring me peace
i am unable to achieve
in a waking state. i seem
to always live in fantasy and daydream.
i envision
a million times our first kiss
and all that proceed. it
comes second nature
so uncontrollably perfect =)

gotta take the good with the bad…

love me the way you love her
is all i ask for
JUST equal, not more..
look at me the same

i know she’s always been your favorite
and that’s why i grow  jealous so quick

but just once
love me equal

please
otherwise, these
tears
will not leave me
alone.
even being close
tears me apart…
that hug…hurt my heart
because that one ounce
of care…brings me down
wanting more. knowing that day may never come
or as fast and often as i need

so please hear me:
Love Me Equally…
even if pretending.

…don’t bring me down..i beg you…won’t let you..

fully undressed
naked to everyone else -
do i continue to let this
grow within
until i am comfortable in my own skin
~ patience friend ~
but i hate all this confusion
caused by the unknown
and my imagination
- crazy combination -

maybe i should just release
some of this grasp
letting my heart Free
but she does not want that
she just wants to be received
to be heard and seen
noticed for what she wants and has to give
she is not scared
of when she might break
my mind is the one doing that
continuously replaying the scene
slightly different each time…

…only one who knows to slow it down…

they tell me i’m stupid. that i’m fooling myself: just quit it!
nothing can come of this

but my heart does not understand
and my mind cannot comprehend
my soul will not hear any of those arguments
even in the pain, they feel perfection

exercise patience
because when we move too fast
we burn out from this love affair
so much quicker
than taking time to enjoy the silence
taking the moments to feel the comfort – so nice -
              but sometimes anxiety pushes
                                                             a tug of war inside
should i confess or keep quiet?
am i doubting or just nervous?
why is the future such a big deal and how does it scare so effortlessly?
eventually it will never come…

~ i just know that ~
staring at nothing
next to him
feels like Heaven <3
close your eyes – see the sun setting still
like you never left
clear your mind. go to your Happy Place
and notice…all you focus on is  his face
his eyes smiling
his lips warm without even touching
his aura is that of the scenary
an orangish/goldish hue…always inviting you
stop.
sit.
decide to Speak or not
just Silence will do.
only there to Stare
and feel Something
that might have been absent – just for a Second
a moment passes quickly and the Sky has faded
no more glowing Sphere to warm
just Stars to keep company until
the Sun rises in the morning
(as long as we are Still here for the experience)

i miss you.

this man loves this woman
but she does not feel the same
she hurts him with another…
he blackmails her to go
- she has a way out -
but the other does not fulfill the deal
so she is forced to venture off with him

he is mean to her
alone – and bored…she wanders
she finds out about who he is for the first time
she falls in love with him
but he does not seem to care anymore
BUT
they finally begin to get each other

A F T E R    2    Y E A R S ! ! !

she loves him
he loves her
~ it is perfect ~

but then he is gone…
he took her to punish
but they both felt real love
for the first time. FULL…
her eyes shine from deep inside
he can see it. feel it. hear it. touch it. smell it. taste it.

he asks for forgiveness
but he does not need forgiveness
she says i’m sorry…

….and then it ends..

her heart broke
but better to have love and lost… as they say <3

to feel something SO real and tangible and alive!
even for a moment is worth any amount of pain
because the peak of pleasure is SO much higher
the low after might last longer in time…
but the memory of that happiness. love. peace. calm. perfection
can never leave your soul. in this world or all that follow after :)